Best Coast, No Coast: Why the Midwest is the Best Place to Live

The Midwest is the best place to live in the United States of America. People always debate West Coast versus East Coast, but they always neglect the region sandwiched between the two. In this noncomprehensive study, I will outline years of research that has led me to conclude that the Midwest is as close to heaven on earth as you can get.

Where is the Midwest?

For the purpose of this article, the Midwest consists of North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio. Why these states you might ask? Well, the only good image of the Midwest I could find on Google was the one you see above. Some people from East Coast claim that the Midwest is simply just the West, but they’d be wrong. If you can see copious amounts of farmland and wide open, flat spaces, there’s a good chance you’re in the Midwest.

Who Lives in the Midwest?

The Midwest consists of some of the most culturally diverse states in the union. Despite over 75% of the population being white, this region is a true melting pot of ethnicities. Take me for example. I’m a Korean that was born is Seoul, who grew up in Iowa, and was raised by Dutch parents. If that doesn’t show ethnic diversity, I don’t know what does. There is also a burgeoning population of Hispanics. All politics aside, the Midwest has been subjected to some of the largest ICE raids in history. Racial diversity is one of the key reasons why the Midwest is so attractive. It’s as if a slice from every part of the world was dropped into the center of the U.S.

Many famous people call the Midwest home. For example, multi-billionaire and real estate mogul Warren Buffett lives in Omaha, Nebraska. Aston Kutcher was born in Iowa and still regularly attends his all alma mater’s football games. Donald Trump’s better half, Mike Pence, became the governor of his home state Indiana before selling his soul to become VP. The list goes on and on.

What is there to do in the Midwest?

More like what isn’t there to do? Depending on where you live, the nearest big city is only hours away. Driving down country roads and looking up to see unpolluted views of the stars cannot be matched anywhere outside of the Midwest. You want shopping? There’s Chicago. You want to shuck some corn and milk a cow? That’s probably down the street and around the corner. The Mall of America, Wrigley Field, the world’s only combination Applebee’s/IHOP, the zoo that Harambe died in, Mt Rushmore,  and Lambeau Field can only be found in the Midwest.

Yes, the Midwest

I can tell by the look of disdain and boredom on your face that this article did nothing to sway your opinion. The promise of no hurricanes doesn’t outweigh the threat of 14 inches of snow in 6 hours. You love your region because you consider the Midwest a place you fly over on your way to LA or NYC.

Let me break it down one last time. The West Coast is a blend of don’t care laziness and over the top love for spray tans. Plus all of those liberals in Silicon Valley that think that women deserve equal pay are killing the economy (This is a joke. Equal pay for equal work; am I right?). The South is racist. Just kidding. It’s not racist, just a little slow, a little too proud of losing a war, and a little too infatuated with Raising Canes Chicken. Florida is lit though. The East Coast is a trash heap of trust fund babies and Bostonians who get to root for the Patriots simply because they were born there. Us Midwesterners endured for a Cubs World Series Title and a Cavs NBA Finals Championship. If you were born post-1980, you have a host of title teams (NY Giants, Patriots, Celtics Penguins, etc). No one likes winners who didn’t work for their success. Speaking of trash New Jersey is actually a literal dump. Trust me, I’ve been there. With all of these downsides, you might be wondering, where is a good place to live? The answer, of course, is the Midwest.

The Midwest is a utopia of friendly folks, great food, and endless opportunities. It’s the place to be. It’s where you wish you would’ve grown up. It’s where you want to raise your children. The Midwest is truly the backbone of America. A final parting word from a wise man: “The Midwest, where the corn is tall and the women are beautiful.”

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